The Moral of the Story

Reflections ~ I saw it this way... by Janice Brown

When I see the inside out of something, it helps me to see that I can see things differently. It’s not that I don’t have my own feelings or opinions; it’s just that I can perceive a sense of restlessness in the determination that I have made. There’s more to know, more to see, and more to contemplate. And that’s when I know I can put down my position and explore a little more. 

It’s not that I don’t want to win in a certain direction; it’s that I can see that more than one direction can be a winner. And that’s not being obsequious. It’s being persuasive if I’m pushing my agenda. It’s also being open if I’m willing to look at yours. I can’t really say this any other way; more than one position can be correct, bearing all the facts. 

Keep this in mind when you are exploring the light and the dark. There are many more shades of grey than there are versions of black and white. And this is what it takes to make up a world, a society, a community. It takes an openness of perspective, a willingness to hold back on fear for just long enough to say, 'Oh, that’s curious instead of threatening.' And threatening doesn’t have to be implied to feel that way; it can simply mean different than I am familiar with. 

Watch what happens the next time you meet someone on the street, and don’t make a single judgment about them. Not positive. Not negative. Just neutral. Let that person fill in a few more blanks about themselves before you say, ‘Oh, I’ve seen this all before. I know what this fellow is all about’. Really? Can you? Not for a split second. 

Now, can you know that a person gives off a warm and inviting personification of self? Sure. Of course, or quite the contrary, a bitchy or disapproving sense of self. I’m going to bet the answer to that is yes as well. But couldn’t they also be both simultaneously? A bitchy person having a good day and simply being a little more forgiving? Or a joyful person who just had the worst experience? 

We can’t decide for ourselves what someone is up to until we really know the full story, and full stories are hard to come by. We keep them from ourselves for a variety of reasons, like, I’m not certain that person will like me enough to give me a chance, or I wouldn’t want them to think poorly of me, or I might not be what they are looking for when they are thinking about a job, a mate, or a neurosurgeon. 

Oooo, can you imagine that? If your neurosurgeon even had a sense of personification that felt unreal from time to time? I’m pretty sure they do because we all go through this developmental process called life. And this is what life is for: living in certain directions and exploring others until you find out. 

But you’re not going to find certainty in persuasion. I dare say I tried every map in the book with that one, but you will find a certain level of ease or progressive strength that allows you to decide a little less fervently and a lot more certainly. 

It’s called the moral of the story simply because someone once lived through a certain experience. It doesn’t mean don’t check it out for yourself; it’s simply there to give you an objective sound point for comparison. Were your experience to come out even better doing something differently, wouldn’t that be all the more reason to apply a certain degree of objectivity to every course of action? Wouldn’t you just widen out the trail of your thought a little more and leave yourself a little more room to pivot? 

I certainly would. And that’s all I’ve been doing with my life these days—living a little more loose on the trail, not because I’m indecisive but because I’m willing to explore. I’m willing to learn something for myself that might be different than someone else’s experience. This is where we live with a little more grace; we allow an open door to be an opportunity instead of a place where the dust comes in and the heat gets out. 

It’s watching what we are doing because we know we need to take care of other people's feelings and right to exploration for their own benefit. It’s why the job candidate that you think is perfect might be a dud, and the one that you glossed over was the one that got away. 

It’s time to start seeing where you stand from a new point of view simply because you can and not because you should. That makes it a task and chore instead of a delightful expedition. If I could see clearly all the way through my life, there are a lot of detours that I would not have made, but I can assure you that every detour had a delight that I would not have known, a sight I would not have seen, a smile that I would not have given, a chuckle that still lifts my heart to this day. 

What are you sacrificing every day because you refuse to allow even a little bit of freshness into your everyday experience? Maybe it’s a health condition that’s wearing you too tightly or an old friend’s dirty laundry that isn’t getting the chance to air. Maybe the person you are thinking about forgot about a situation long before you ever brought it up, and now they have hurt feelings or joyful feelings all over again. 

It’s not for me to say what you should do or not do; I’m simply saying, 'Have you considered that it could be more and better than you ever imagined and giving that a chance to play out?' Or are you simply sitting in a rut of behaviour that you can’t avoid? 

It’s a common thread among us all. And we need to ask and see that this is an optimal viewpoint for some and a devastation for others. There’s no time more powerful than now, so simply give it a chance to be a little different than it has been and see what’s happening for you that you never felt before. 

We are one in more ways than we can imagine, including each wanting to have the very best kick at the can that we can imagine. So let’s just be aware of when we’re shutting down the gate, closing off the valve, and ask anew if that’s really the best way to experience what we are doing.

We’re not talking small favours for some and big gifts for others; we’re talking about room to breathe and feel about inside ourselves for a new response to an old situation. A proper bit of shimmying and shaking from time to time to get all the goosebumps out and put on a new frock for a new experience. 

You might even look at this as overtly optimistic, and you might be right. But then again, you might just see things a little more my way for a while and see that it’s ok to explore a new sense of being in your worth for the benefit of your own peace of mind. 

And that is a pretty fine day for anyone. 

I saw it this way.

~ A Girl

I’ve been working with the Tao as long as I’ve lived; and so have you. Here’s what that means to me, I’m a problem solver and I use the Tao as a framework for my discussion. In my writing and my work, I share with you how I use it, and you can decide if that’s helpful for you or not.

Janice writes from the Heart in the moment. She writes specifically from her point of view. You may not have seen it this way before, but that's the whole point—to turn it around and look at it another way.